A couple from Leicester have described the devastating trauma of losing six babies to miscarriages in the space of just four years. Ryan and Rosie Willday wanted to share their story because miscarriages are still largely a taboo subject, leaving couples dealing with their grief alone.
According to research by baby loss charity Tommy’s, about one in 100 women in the UK experience recurrent miscarriages, losing at least three babies in a row. Ryan said he had “watched Rosie shaking in pain and bleeding” time and time again, and wanted to raise awareness of recurrent miscarriages to help break the stigma, the Mirror reported.
Ryan, 29, and Rosie, 28, had been together for six years when they decided to start trying for a baby around the same time as their wedding in October 2019. Ryan said: “It was amazing to fall pregnant so quickly and we were on cloud nine flying to Tenerife for our honeymoon.
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“But halfway through the trip, Rosie had a bleed and started feeling pain. We panicked and went to a local hospital but they didn’t have a gynaecologist. So after tests, we were sent away.
“On the plane home, Rosie’s bleeding heightened – it was dripping out of her. We rang 111 as soon as we landed and they thought she was haemorrhaging.”
The couple then went to Leicester Royal Infirmary and were devastated to learn they had lost their baby. They said they were “absolutely gutted and disappointed” but were told to try again in a couple of months.
They conceived again in January 2020 and found themselves in the same situation, when Rosie suffered bleeding and a miscarriage at six-weeks. Ryan said: “At that point, we started thinking ‘why?’
“But to be seen by an NHS consultant, you need three consecutives miscarriages. So much heartache just to be tested.”
Ryan, who works in medical records at the infirmary, was thankful to be seen by a specialist doctor early – but their test results all came back positive. He said: “It was good news but bad news. We wanted to find something to fix.”
Rosie, who has a petite frame and fast metabolism, was told to put weight on, so spent the next year getting from about seven and a half stone just over eight stone. Then in December 2020 she was pregnant again.
Ryan said: “We’ve always considered ourselves lucky to conceive, but we can’t seem to hold onto the pregnancies. We had our first nine-week scan and got to see our baby, but there was no heartbeat.
“That one hit us really hard.”
Ryan and Rosie decided to try for the fourth time in summer 2021 and conceived in just two months, but after six weeks they had a miscarriage. By then they felt like their “resources were exhausted” and they still had no medical explanation.
They were referred to Tommy’s and met with Professor Siobhan Quenby for a consultation. Rosie was sent for a biopsy and tested positive for endometritis, which led the couple to participate in a double-blind trial last year.
“This time, it took three months to get pregnant, which was a long time for us and made us feel quite positive,” Ryan explained.
“We had an early scan at five-weeks in November and they turned the screen round to us for the first time – they had never done that before.
“Then were were told it was twins by natural conception. It was the most crazy and amazing news, the whole family was in disbelief.”
But one month later the couple were told one of the twin’s heart had stopped beating, and a few weeks after, the second twin devastatingly passed.
“The hardest part has been watching Rosie shaking in pain and not even being able to touch her because it hurts,” Ryan said.
“I feel helpless every single time and just want to wrap her up and make her feel better. It’s by far the worst bit about it all – there is nothing I can do but ride the wave and stroke her hair.”
The couple still do not know the cause of their pregnancy losses, though are remaining hopeful to try for their seventh baby, with the support of Tommy’s, family and friends.
Ryan will be running the London Marathon for the first time on April 23 for the charity. If you would like to donate towards Ryan’s fundraiser for Tommy’s charity, visit his JustGiving page online.
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